


Summer Sunset

by xXNekoAngel172Xx



Category: Chlorine Grown Roses
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, best friends or gay - you decide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 10:20:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18259325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXNekoAngel172Xx/pseuds/xXNekoAngel172Xx
Summary: Two best friends are chilling under the afternoon sun, but one of them has a weight on their mind that the other can't possibly ignore.





	Summer Sunset

We were launching on the backside of my house, staring into the empty sky with nothing but the sounds of summer in our ears. The cicadas were chirping especially loud during this time of the year, and I chuckled just thinking about not being able to hear my own thoughts over the noise.

"I am soo done!" I exclaimed and sprawled myself all out on my back. "This heat is really gonna kill me!"

"Maybe you should just wear lighter clothing!" Akira, my best friend, giggled.

"No way! I have an image to uphold!" I playfully pouted back at her.

"Then maybe wear a lighter color?"

"Nooo! I legally can not wear anything that is lighter than Vantablack!"

We laughed. Our pointless conversation filled the air with so much fun and more meaning than what we actually giggled about.

For a moment, we wet quiet. Just lying here, taking in the late summer afternoon. The cicadas were still going at it. I felt like this moment would hold on for eternity. However, I noticed a subtle sigh on my right.

"Akira?"

I got up from my sprawl and crawled a little closer to her. Something was off.

"Are you alright?" I asked concerned, studying her face closely to not miss any subtle reactions she might want to hide.

"Yeah", she answered emotionlessly, sending a forced smile right after it.

"You're clearly not."

"I... am."

"What is it?"

"..."

We sat there in silence, frozen in time. The gears in my head started spinning as fast as they could, deducing what could be causing my best friend such pain that she didn't feel confident in sharing it with me. My parents crossed my mind, and I gulped back my tears.

"Is it because of Homura?"

Her head shot up. I nodded.

"I know how you feel. It's been a year since my parents were murdered, but I still... I still can't help but cry when I think of them."

"It's not the same." Akira replied with a certain weight to it. She buried her head in her chest, likely to avoid making eye contact with me.

"What are you talking about?" Her reaction appalled me. "I know what it's like. My parents-"

"Died a year ago!" Akira yelled. Realizing how she had raised her voice, she faltered together even more and her voice turned into a barely audible whisper.

"A year ago... That's not the way it is for me. Aunt Homura... Aunt Homura was killed barely a week ago! She's still... The image of her lying on the ground... It's all... Still..."

She sniffed.

"Akira, I saw how my parents got murdered. I felt the same pain that you are feeling now. And even worse, I made a mistake. And never talked to anyone... and isolated myself... I didn't even tell you..."

"I'm sorry, Azusa. It's all still fresh in my mind..."

"We can overcome this. Together."

"No", her voice gulped, "I'm not as strong as you."

"I'm not strong!" I cried out. "I don't-"

"You are!" Akira screamed back at me. "You stayed in your mansion and now you're here, getting your life back together! I... I can't. Because... because it just... rips open the wound..."

"Akira..."

"... My parents... died when I was... almost a baby. Still, I... I didn't let it drag me down... I... I tried to be positive... Everything would turn out fine... It would all get better... but now... losing my aunt... I can't help but think... it's the punishment for not letting my parents' death affect me that much. It's just... unbearable."

I remained silent. I didn't know what to answer. She just nodded to herself, as if my silence agreed with her.

"I don't have any family left now."

"You still have me!" I cried out in protest. She glanced at me, tears welling in her eyes.

"Because you're my reminder that one can overcome this?" She asked mockingly.

"Yeah- I mean..."

"...I'm gonna move."

"What?"

"I'm moving away. Far from all this."

"Why?"

"Because... I just can't stay here. It all just reminds of what happened. My old house. My classmates offering me their deepest sympathies. Everyone trying to comfort me... It just... I want to forget everything. I can't live like this..."

We sat in deafening silence, with only the cries of the cicadas resounding.

"You're strong" Akira repeated, "Because you could go on. You... you could just stay there, where you lost your parents. You endured so much more than me, being reminded of them every day; yet I just want to run away."

"Akira, I'm still not over my parents' death. It still haunts me. But just spending time here with you, my new friends, my family, my new life- You're all helping me. You need the help of others to come to terms with your loss."

"I don't have any family to go back to." Akira's dry reply threw me off. "And I am pursuing a new life- just like you."

"But!" Tears welled up in my eyes. I regretted my terrible word choice. 

"I've already talked to Kimmy. She said she might be able to find someplace I could go. Maybe I'll even become part of the witness protection programm. The murderer is still out there after all, and maybe just killing my aunt wasn't enough for them..."

"How can Kimmy approve of this! It's important we stick together now!"

"She said she understands my concerns, even if she doesn't endorse them."

"No! I need you! You can't leave! Now that we were finally able to connect again, after all this time...!"

Akira angrily shot up and glared at me with a mix of rage and grief in her eyes.

"You're so selfish!" 

I stared blankly at her.

"I can't stay here just for you!"

"I'm not telling you to stay for my sake!" I yelled back at her, jumping on my feet. "It's for yours! Because I want to be there for you this time! I don't want you to shoulder this alone like I had to when my parents died! I don't want you to suffer as much as I did! I don't want you to endure this alone, I want to be by your side and hold you up when you feel like it's dragging you down! I don't want to lose you again!"

Shocked at my own outburst, I quickly covered my own mouth.

"I-I didn't want to scream. I just! I just don't want to lose you again. It's my fault for not keeping in touch with you, and I don't want to repeat this mistake...! Please... I just want to be there for you. I'm sorry... for sounding selfish..."

I took a step back, locking my eyes on the ground. I could feel the tears trickle down my cheeks. I might have stepped over a boundary here, but I just couldn't let her leave just like that. It was my own fault for having to deal with my parents' death alone, but I didn't want Akira to have to bear with this on her own too. I didn't want my best friend to experience all this pain.

"I'm not as strong as you think I am..." I whispered. 

"Azusa..."

Frozen in place, we kept silent. The sun was starting to set; warm hues of orange and red spread across the skies; I hadn't even realized how much time had passed since we had sat down in the afternoon. 

I observed the colors in the skies, trying to calm myself down from the heat of my anger, our argument, the day. Somehow, the warm hues seemed sad, like a farewell. Meaningful I stared into the distance, until I felt something hot and wet falling into me.

Akira. Her face was all red and worked up, tears streaming down like I have never witnessed on anyone else but myself, stifling her sobs and crying inaudibly. I laid my arms around her, pulling her into a hug. Tears started trickling down my cheeks again.

"We can work this out. Together."

My voice sounded more like consolidation for myself than her, and I bit my lip upon the realization that I just sounded selfish again. But Akira just looked up at me with a teary smile and an affirmative nod, before burying herself in my body again, holding onto me tighter than I was holding on to her.

I wasn't strong. But I could at least try to be for her, if not be strong with her together.

Because Akira is the most important person in my life. And I don't want her to suffer any more than I did.


End file.
